Bus Therapy

I had the rare opportunity to take the morning bus from the end of the block this morning. What made it even rarer, was the fact that i caught the "early" bus. My normal routine before i had Olivia, was that i caught the 6:55 bus in the morning. Cathy would be at the corner, having her morning cigarette. We would talk about the weather and various random things that could be said that early in the morning. The bus would slide up to the curb, we board the bus, pick our separate seats on the bus and read.

Our bus is a neighborhood bus, and the people who board the bus are people in the neighborhood (obviously) and you get to "know" who they are. There were just enough people on the bus to fill the bus, but we each had our own seats.

The 6:55 bus people are typically quiet. This was great when i was pregnant with Olivia as well as getting over a bad previous day. I would sit on the bus, look out the window and gaze at other people's lives as the bus slid on through the neighborhood. Houses silent, no movement outside. The sun peaking out in the summer, pitch black in the winter.

On some occasions, when overtime was allowed or i wanted to get off work early, i would catch the "early" bus at 6:25. I would get to the corner, Cheryl standing out there having her morning cigarette. We would talk about the weather and various random things that could be said that early in the morning and on occasion another lady would be out there (she has since been laid off due to "tough economic times"). The bus would slide up to the curb, we board the bus, pick our separate seats on the bus and read or other's would chat.

With the 6:25 bus, it's predominantly women and a bit more chatty. When Cheryl and i get on, there are already a few ladies chatting about whatever... scrap booking and what-not. They are all in their 40's, mostly have older children.

With this rare opportunity to catch the bus at the end of the block this morning, i was VERY excited to see people from my "old" routine. I mosey up to the corner. Cheryl is there having her morning cigarette. I'm just smiling inside and when i hit the corner, she turns and is surprised. We chat it up real good and the bus slides up to the corner. We get on the bus, we pick our seats, I smile at the people i haven't seen in awhile and Cheryl announces, "look who's back on the bus this morning!". The bus driver is waiting at the corner and Cheryl says, "It's okay, he's not coming. The wife is on the bus today."

The bus pulls away from the corner, i pull out my book, and i look out the window. The bus stops at the very next block, a "new" girl gets on the bus. The bus stops again at the next block and another lady gets on the bus, whom i recognize but i don't know her name. The ladies in front of me cheerfully say good morning to her. She looks at them and tries to say good morning, but you know she's had a rough start to her day already.

At first everyone pauses... is she crabby or sad? The question, "Whatsa matter?" pops up and she states, "don't even get me started." She barley eeks this out because you can tell by now that she is furious, sad, and about to burst into tears. Everyone sits patiently. I still have my book open, but i haven't read a single sentence as of yet. Knowing that i'm not really apart of the conversation, i just look out the window and listen.

Once she has calmed down a little, she says a few short sentences. I can't really make out what the deal is. Something about how she her husband, her kids, work, vacation, and not being ready. The ladies cluck, try to make a few light remarks, that get a laugh out, and then it's back to serious business again. She has been working long hours, there were expectations from whomever that she would watch the grandkids, while on vacation, and something about having everything ready to go for tonight so they could go. Essentially, it's a vacation... but not so much for her.

A few tears eek out but by the time we hit the last stop, she is over it. More ladies board the bus. The clucking begins. "What're they doin' to the church overthere?" There is talk about lay-offs, who retired, who moved to another company etc. At this point i tune out and start to read my book. I lose myself in my book, enjoying the fact that i actually have a seat to myself, and the bus driver actually knows how to drive the bus.

Before i know it, i'm downtown. I'm the first stop on 4th St. and Hennepin. People are getting off the bus, "bye! have a great weekend! have a great vacation! i won't be here on Monday..." I'm a little sad to get off.

I think to myself, as i walk through the Lumber Exchange building towards work, "What would all these ladies do without each other as a support system?" Growing up we had our friends to get us through the bad-hair-days and ugly outfits. But as we get older, have families, work full-time, where do they go? Nobody seems to have time anymore.

Nobody wants to burden each other with their issues, yet nobody wants to go to a therapist (how would you explain that one?). But when the people who know you, see you on a daily basis, see the look on your face and just know... then the clucking begins... and the feeling that you aren't alone/dingy/crazy/crabby/rude/too-something makes it that much better and much more sane. And i think what makes it easy to talk to your fellow bus riders or whomever you don't see at home on a daily basis, is that you can talk about it, it doesn't go anywhere, and you can walk away from it.

I think therapists are getting a run for the money...